Sex File: 'My wife says she has lost her libido and doesn't want to have sex'

My wife says she has lost her libido and doesn't want to have sex. And yet sometimes in the early hours, when she imagines that I am asleep, I am not infrequently aware of her having an orgasm without me. I am delighted that she is still enjoying sex in her own way, but feel hurt that she doesn't want to share with me.

If you want this marriage to survive, you need to stop pretending to be asleep and start talking to your wife. Sexual frequency declines in all long-term relationships, but when couples stop having sex with each other, they increase the likelihood that one or both partners will have sex with someone else.