Gift stressbuster: We sort out who gets what and why
Don’t let present stress ruin your run-up to Christmas. has done all the hard work with this tongue-in-cheek gift guide for every budget, so you can tick everyone off your list and get down to enjoying yourself for the festive season.
FOR THE WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE
Here’s the problem. When you and your partner were in town last Sunday she pointed at a coat in the window of Topshop and said “I love that, buy me that for Christmas.”
Unfortunately, you didn’t hear her, because you were checking if the Liverpool goal was disallowed by VAR (Video Assistant Referee.) Some of our best men will miss present-hints this Christmas because VAR was introduced for the Premier League — there is nothing can be done about this.
Your safest bet is cosmetics. According to make-up artist Liz Desmond, from Makeup by Lola, there are a couple of fail-safe neutral classics that work for most women.
The Chanel Universal Bronzer retails at €41, although it’s a bit stocking-filler-size for some. In which case Liz recommends the Charlotte Tilbury Advent Calendar, €185 for 12 full-sized products. Or you could just leave your phone at home the next time and get her that coat in Topshop.
FOR THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE
Your guy doesn’t have a beard? No problem, there’s still time to get him to grow one. (Play on his insecurities and tell him it will make him look like Chris Hemsworth.)
Let’s face it, a beard puts the quick and easy back into man gifting. The new range from stylist Darren Kennedy has a hydrating beard oil for under €15, while Marks & Spencer have an attractive mini-grooming kit for around €11. If (when) he gets sick of the beard on Stephen’s Day, help him shave it off with Acqua Di Parma soft-shaving cream, €35 in Arnotts.
If the beard isn’t a runner, I’m told that Grown Alchemist’s cleanser in their Marvel Room line is very hot this Christmas. The cost is €35, but if your man is aged over 30 you’ll probably need to set aside an hour on Christmas Day to explain what a cleanser is.
There is, of course, a chance you are with a man who is not interested in grooming. This leaves you with one option — noise-cancelling earbuds. If he has a pair, tell him they’re out of date and buy him another. The must-haves this year are the Apple Airpods Pro which cost around, wait for it, €280.
The ordinary Airpods are a more appetising €164 on Amazon, which could be €4 next week if Brexit takes another sharp turn.
For people who don’t feel the need to buy Apple, the Xiaomi Mi Airdots Pro have their fans; expect to pay just over €50 on Gearbeast.com. (All prices exclude delivery.)
FOR YOUR PARENTS
There are two types of Irish mother. The first one, who features on Christmas ads on the telly, opens her present with a big beaming smile. The second one, your actual mother, doesn’t.
She’s either devastated that you spent money on her or else it’s ‘another pair of gloves, you must think I have a thousand pairs of hands’.
In fairness, it’s hard to repay your mother for everything she’s done for you, particularly since it involves full-time childcare for your kids, which by her estimate comes to 12 grand a year. You really would be lost without her.
Which is why you should give her and your Dad a bit of winter sun. Sunway offers Christmas week in Lanzarote, flights and accommodation, from around €800 to €2,000 per person. The price can be around half that if you go for a week in late January, but then you’ll have to mind your own kids — talk about a nightmare.
Maybe your parents would prefer a cruise. Probably best to steer clear of the Mediterranean at this time of the year — unless you fancy a Facebook post of your parents queuing for Palma cathedral in the rain.
Now might be the time for a cosy trip down the Rhine — traveldepartment.ie have seven-day, full-board cruises at the end of March, flights ex Dublin, for around €1,500 a head. Yes this is steep, but if your parents were good Catholics you probably have loads of brothers and sisters, so ye can all box in together.
FOR GADGET LOVERS
I’m not suggesting that older people struggle with gadgets — but if you buy an Amazon Echo for your parents, you will be on call 24/7 to come and fix the thing. (It will be in a constant state of ‘acting up’.) Otherwise, you’re spoiled for choice for the tech worshipper in your life.
For starters, you have the PhoneSoap Smartphone Sanitiser. It says here on the internet that your phone is 18 times dirtier than your toilet.
This sanitiser (€88.50 on eBay) uses UV light to clean your phone as it charges, killing 99.99% of germs. This might just be the answer to ‘What do you give the overly anxious person in your life who has everything?’ — just bear in mind they’ll probably obsess over the .01% of germs that got away.
The Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug, around €85 on amazon.co.uk, keeps your coffee or tea at a constant heat, controlled by an app on your smartphone. How did we get by without this, says no one, but I know at least three people who would love one.
Finally, a solution to one of the great tragedies of modern life. You know the way you buy your herbs in a pot these days to help save the environment and then watch them die on the kitchen windowsill because you couldn’t be bothered to water them.
Well, now you can get a Smart Garden on clickandgrow.com that will water the plants for you.
It costs around €100 plus shipping, all you have to do is decide if that’s a price worth paying for fresh basil and a clear conscience.
FOR THE EMIGRANT
This couldn’t be easier — just sent them a hamper of Irish favourites. According to Catherine at Justlikehome.ie, a Cork company specialising in these hampers, the favourite products are still Barry’s Tea, Tayto, and Dairy Milk, and they’ve shipped them all over the place, including Bermuda and Iceland.
It would be nice to think this generosity would stop your far-flung kids ringing up Christmas morning to crow about the amazing weather in Melbourne, but we all know that isn’t going to happen.
FOR YOUR PET
Acknowledging your pet with a Christmas present is a lovely thing to do, as long as you’re not expecting anything in return. The must-give this Christmas is the Furbo Treat-Tossing Dog Camera — the €223 price tag is steep until you realise this is a gift for both of you. (As well as anyone looking to satirise this period in history.)
The Furbo has a camera and two-way audio so you can stay in contact with your dog all day (or cat). But the clincher is you can store treats in the body of the thing, and then toss one remotely using the app on your phone. At last, technology has delivered something useful to our lives.
The price tag, or the prospect of your family worrying that you’ve gone daft, could be enough to put you off. In that case, go fora pair of owner-pet matching pyjamas.
The good news is you can get a set shipped from fabdog.com for about $75 — the bad news is your family will still think you’re daft.
