Sorry Reggie, the lawyers won’t allow me to make flippant comments about problem drinking, which is hilaire given they were voted Table Most Likely To Get Its Stomach Pumped at last year’s Christmas party. (We only came third. Devastated.)
The who? I ran this by my sex expert friend, Twice a Day Tania. I said, when is it OK to stop doing the biz so you can watch a bit of rugby? She said, when someone is lining up a kick and the person next to you in the stand says keep it down there lads. #LovesStadiumSex #ItsHerThing #AlwayHasBeen #RugbyClubDisco
Listen to more advice from Audrey...
The poor thing. (Literally.) My neighbour is a private detective, most of his work is in infidelity, don’t ask me why he doesn’t just move to Kinsale to save himself all the driving up and down. I said, c’mere, is there a way to check if someone from Waterford is refined and conscientious? He said, just ask me, I know both of them.
My cousin went on holidays to Birmingham after getting the wrong end of the stick on a travel show. I said, how do you people there view Peaky Blinders? She said with the sound down. (Even they hate their own accent.)
I’m not feelin’ you. (No one is.) My niece, Paula Panda, is the eco-warrior in our family. I said, is there anything I can do to help save the planet? She said, what’s stopping you from driving around town in a 50 grand, 192 C, look-at-me gas guzzler that you can’t really afford? I said, the fact that I’m from Ballinlough. #InYourFacePlanetEarth