Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages...
It’s a tricky one alright. I confronted My Conor the other night in a real accusing voice and said, did you send a photo of your mickey to my cousin Colette? He said no, quite nervously I thought. I said, well take one there and send it to her straight away, she’s feeling a bit unwanted after Sean ran away with yet another au pair. #GoodDeed
The Posh Cousin is all over this. In fact she has a new podcast out called The Hippies Hate You Anyway, You Might As Well Drive a Huge BMW. I said to her, what’s the worst thing about global warming? She said my water-level mansion in Blackrock will shortly be worth less than a mid-terrace on Holly Hill. #Catastrophic #WeAreAllNorriesNow
I think you’re dead right. It’s a nightmare trying to find three plain looking women in Cork, you’d probably end up recruiting in Galway.
I’ll take the begorrah but you can keep your faith. Let me be clear — Donald Trump didn’t visit Ireland, he visited Clare. That’s basically a wildlife park for human-shaped bodhran worshippers. The best advice I can give you is to head straight down from Shannon to West Cork. And there is no longer a need to bring a gun to Ireland, now that they’ve put the bypass around Limerick.
It’s a nightmare. My son said recently, what’s the difference between me and a guy from Turners Cross? I said, his parents don’t get vom in the mouth when they see a sign-post for Garryvoe. #NorryOnSea