Ask Audrey: My neighbours are sound-proofing their bedroom - does that make them pervs?

Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for ages

Hello old stock. Myself and Hoggy are over in Coventry for the Munster match, pinting away like madmen. I know it sounds harsh coming from a handsome multi-millionaire like myself, but I genuinely think this dump looks like Dunmanway after it was hit by an asteroid. When Hoggy told a very common bird he had a forty footer last night, she said “whip it out and give us proof, luv.” (Most people here have never seen a yacht.) It’s time for European rugby to man-up and admit they are wrong to ask well-bred types like myself and Hoggy to visit England’s answer to Longford for a rugby semi-final. Could you have a word in the right ear?