Lindsay Woods: My home has become the festive version of The Hunger Games

My home has become the festive version of The Hunger Games. Mainly due to the competitive battleground between a diminutive elf and a faux root vegetable. Whilst the elf can claim several prior years of residence, his pixie nose has been considerably put out of joint by the arrival of Kevin the Carrot, writes Lindsay Woods.

However, Kevin did not rock up to rent a sweet little bachelor pad for himself and attempt to curry favour with Buddy by knocking back a few egg nogs at the bar; no, he brought the wife and kids. Specifically, Katie, Jasper, Chantenay and Baby. Not since Bethlehem has the phrase ‘no room at the inn’ been more applicable.