Norway's female footballers confess they can't play in this brilliant parody

"My best is 25 kick-ups! … with a balloon."

Women's football - like women's any-other-sport - gets a tough time. But now, Norway's NRK media station can, in exclusive interviews, reveal narrow-minded pundits have been right all along.

"I tend to pick the ball up with my hands," said Emilie Haave (World Cup player, 78 goals). "Suddenly I forget myself and oh, crap - handball."