'Red Riding Hood' a dire, senseless film

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Cast: Amanda Seyfried, Max Irons, Shiloh Fernandez, Lukas Haas, Gary Oldman, Virginia Madsen

Cert: 12

You’ll not find grandma with big ears in this laughably inept film that doesn’t try to live up to its stealing of the kiddies’ classic’s title.

Hardwicke, she of 'Twilight', simply wanders off into the woods in search of the weakest, daftest, cheesiest moments she can find … quite successfully, it must be said, since everything about this dross is weak, daft and cheesy.

Seyfried plays sexy young Valerie who juggles two hunks – the poor woodcutter Peter (Fernandez) and the wealthy Henry (Irons) – though she eventually decides to run off with Peter.

But, gasp! a nasty werewolf snacks on Valerie’s sister and the citizens of their medieval village wave their pitchforks and cry: “Kill the Beast!”

Along comes a werewolf hunter (Oldman) who informs everyone that the wolf takes on human form during the day and might be any one of them.

By which time you’ll almost certainly be rooting for the fanged one, praying he eats the lot of them. A dire, senseless film all round.

Star Rating: 1/5