Big Brother bore goes from Bard to worse

Big Brother bore Jon plumbed new depths of dullness today when he treated his fellow housemates to a Shakespeare recital.

The data strategy manager performed a specially-adapted version of the opening scene from Romeo and Juliet.

As the other housemates politely looked on, Jon read aloud to Steph and Cameron from the Complete Works Of Shakespeare.

The original lines from Romeo and Juliet read: “From forth the fatal loins of these two foes/A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life/Whose misadventured piteous overthrows/Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.”

But Jon changed them to: “From forth the fetid beds of these two rooms/A dozen housemates take their prize/Whose adventurous piteous diet/Does with their dumps destroy Big Brother’s loo.”

When he had finished, Cameron told him: “Poor Bill will be turning in his grave.”

Jon plans to give the recital at tonight’s cabaret show and has spent hours rehearsing his performance.

The 29-year-old from Staines is up for eviction on Friday along with Justine.

There is clearly no love lost between the pair – Justine nominated Jon because she thinks he’s “creepy” and “sexist”, while Jon chose Justine “because she consumes a lot – the house would be better off without her as they’d have more to eat and drink”.

Even though this is the second time Jon has faced the chop, bookmakers still predict he will escape eviction.

Ladbrokes make Leeds girl Justine, 27, favourite to get the boot at 1/3 while Jon is 5/4.