Let me know if she fancies you as Theresa May. I can get you a good price on a robot outfit. I know how hard it can be keeping up with your partner’s outrageous demands on the sex front.
Only last night, My Conor arrived home and said I want you to stop sleeping with Italians. I said what about that new intern you’re always chatting with on WhatsApp. He said I want her to stop sleeping with Italians with as well. I said you must hate Italian men. He said he’s pasta all that. My Conor can be a good laugh when it suits him.
I presume they won’t bat an eyelid, with all the Botox. I asked my Posh Cousin about rocket city breaks from Cork. She said they’re already the talk of the school drop in Pres and will sell out faster than you can say, “what exactly is the point of Blackpool Shopping Centre?”
I’m very sorry to hear that. Why not make it two? I think it’s a great idea, and not just because it gives Cork half a chance of winning the Munster championship. By going for a smaller man in President The Gooch, you have chosen the one person who can see eye-to-eye with Michael D Higgins.
On behalf of the rest of the country, I should warn you we will send armed riot police to Kerry, to make sure ye leave. Honestly, we’d be only too happy to help you put an X in the box. (Or as it’s known in Killorglin, signing your name.)
That is the least surprising thing I ever heard. Having your baby in a Norrie-free zone has been a nightmare for posh Cork, ever since they stopped deliveries at the Bons. Your only hope at this stage is to go for a home delivery and pray to god they don’t send you a midwife from Farranree. (Poor Hugo might be traumatised.)
In fairness, the Guinness Storehouse won the award in 2015. I was up there with the Posh Cousin recently, in the Gravity Bar overlooking the city. It was amazing, you could see all the cool, socially engaged young techie types, tripping over sleeping junkies because they were too busy looking at their phones.
Great city. I don’t know much about the World Travel Awards. But the weather was obviously favourable when they visited Spike Island, which is another way of saying the wind wasn’t blowing from Cobh.