Ask Audrey - 'There is no such thing as a Kerry man with only small amounts of perspiration'

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Hello girl. I finds it hard to get turned on by me husband, because he do be constantly correcting my grammar. I’d a be telling him to stop, but he don’t pay no attention. Does there be any point in me taking lessons, I don’t know? — Marie, Mayfield, I’d a be worried he’d leave me for someone that speakens posher than me

I think I understand what you are going through, mainly because I ran your letter through the Norry-to-English filter in Google translate. I agree it’s a total turn off when someone is speaking down to you in a harsh manner (unless it’s ‘Sexy Sunday’ in our gaff and my Conor is head to toe in leather.) I asked my posh cousin if she could help you. She said she runs a conversion course for deserving Norries, where she will show you how to speak properly and cook something other than bodice. I said if you do that, no one in Mayfield will ever talk to Marie again. She said, ‘I know, lucky Marie.’