The best thing to serve with goose is another goose, because there’s never enough to go around. My posh cousin went with goose three years ago, after someone in Sunday’s Well Tennis Club told her it’s a sign that you’re not a norry. She had her Hugo’s parents over for dinner and all, the father is as high as you can possibly go in the bank. There was barely enough meat for two of them, let alone four. She said it was nearly as embarrassing as a Dunmanway man trying to pronounce thirty-three.
He makes my Conor look like a catch. That’s saying something, given my fella’s life-long battle with halitosis and earning a living. Have you considered a drone? I gave Conor one for his birthday in October and didn’t see him for a week. He was gone so long, I was able to invite Pepe from the local pizza place to come around and knead my dough. Pepe asked if there was any chance that Conor could be spying on the house using the camera on the drone. I nearly wet myself. Poor Conor can barely get the dimmer switch to work in the hall.
That’s spiced beef. Nobody actually eats it; we just bring it around to each other’s houses at Christmas time and say isn’t it great that we come from the greatest city on earth. I couldn’t possibly advise you how to keep Reggie at bay. As long as he’s at your place, he can’t be at mine. And nothing ruins Christmas quicker than one of Reggie’s sailing stories.
That sounds like incredible fun Reggie. Would you not bring him over a drop of poitin? There’s nothing more Irish than sitting around half blind with a stranger on Christmas Eve after a blast of the quare fella. I’d safely say Gerd would be delighted to have you back every year, which is amazing news for all of us.
You’ll find the churches are still packed in Cork around Christmas time. We’re all praying like mad for fog, so that gobshites like you can’t land at the airport. And we’re doing a lot of looking around to see if anyone has noticed that we’re wearing a coat that was in the window of Brown Thomas for €700. Not that you’d see anything as classy as that out in Bishopstown. Happy Christmas to the lot of ye!