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Hello dear. I have new neighbours next door, I believe they are from Kinsale. Anyway, a package for them was delivered here by mistake yesterday, from a company called Titillating ToyZ. I suspect it’s one of those things a woman uses if she can’t find a husband. Monica up at bridge has one and she swears by it. Do you think I should drop it over? Doreen, Model Farm Road, people say I don’t look 84.

There’s nothing wrong with a white lie. I’d be very slow to approach a couple from Kinsale with a sex toy in my hand. It’s not like they need any encouragement, if you know what I mean. That said, if they contact Titillating ToyZ and hear that you kept the thing after signing for it, they’ll be over like a shot with a bottle of wine and a pair of furry handcuffs. I’d say put it in the post is your best bet.