Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for years

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Come here like, who did ye pay to have Inchydoney named the TripAdvisor Favourite Beach in Ireland, ahead of all the beautiful places we have below here in the Kingdom? — Ed Ned Ted, Killorglin, gutted like.

We didn’t have to pay anyone, Ed Ned Ted. Apparently the judges take a dim view of any place where more than 50% of the people have a monobrow. So that was always going to push Kerry beaches down the list. They also take a dim view of any place where the locals sound like they are stark raving mad. So that was Donegal out of the mix. I have to say we were all surprised to see that Portmarnock beach in Dublin made it to the top 10. I was there last year with my Conor. The waves were about as substantial as the Killorglin Book of Knowledge. No offence, obviously.