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My husband Colin is giving me a mini-bag in Brown Thomas for Christmas, cost him well into the four figures. That will teach him to come home from his office party at 3pm the following day, missing a sock. Anyway, my son’s in-laws are here for pre-Christmas dinner and the poor things are from Glanmire. They have no idea that my present is worth more than their car. (I made them park it around the back.) Is it OK to ask Colin to bring the present out, ‘find’ the receipt in the bag and pretend to faint? — Clodagh, Blackrock Road, you won’t catch me drinking Aldi champagne.

Look at the receipt? What do you think this is? 2007? Just look it up on-line at the dinner table and shriek, “Oh Colin, you shouldn’t have.” I wouldn’t faint if I were you. My guess is that your guests are just looking for an excuse to leave.