Agony aunt Ask Audrey is solving all of Cork’s problems

Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for years ....

Bonjour. I am considered quite plain back home in Bordeaux, but here in Cork the men are all over me a like a cheap suit. There is so much to be said for a tan. Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to Crosshaven and it had been taken over by people with red hair. It was like a horror movie. What was going on? — Nanette, Ballinlough

You obviously stumbled on the redhead gathering. I hope you didn’t make too much noise because they don’t like to be disturbed when they are mating. Scientists believe that redheads will shortly become extinct, so they like to meet once year in Crosshaven in an attempt to prove them wrong. For any foxy-haired readers out there, I’m only messing. Some of my best friends are redheads. Although I’ve never slept with one. You have to keep your standards up as well.