Dreams and wishes of pupils of Gaelscoil Uí Riada are timeless
Santa in 2014 ain’t too far removed from the jolly ol’ geezer of yore, but he does have the added pressure of performance measurement — his every move can be tracked on a map via app on Christmas Eve — as flagged by the delightful second class/“Rang a dó” pupils of Gaelscoil Uí Riada in Wilton, Cork City.
Excitement levels during my recent Santa Fact Finding Expedition to the gaelscoil measured approximately 9.5 on the Emotional Contagion Scale. In fact so enthusiastic was the reception that for a fleeting moment, I had a sense of the reverence Daidí na Nollag can justifiably take for granted. Hands waved enthusiastically in response to each and every “ceist” and at one point, a queue even formed where kids whispered their Christmas wishes in my ear. If Mrs Claus ever bails, I’m in.
Maria de Barra-Ní Mhurchú, aged 7, from Ballincollig (whose family connections to one senior hurling manager guarantee a place on the “Nice” list) is hoping for a camera, a computer and a printer. No pressure then. She would, however, share them with 5-year-old sister Eimear. “Bhí me go maith,” she says. By way of explanation, she helped Mamaí with the housework.
Fionn Ó Duagáin, (almost 8, his birthday is the same month as An Leanbh Íosa), also from Ballincollig, never saw Santa, but he thinks that might be because he goes to Mass on Christmas Eve. He’s totally into Star Wars Lego and says he saw snow recently but it didn’t stay long on the ground. It was however “an-fhuar ar fad”. Brrrrr.
Abby Erlandsson has the monopoly on all things cold. She lives in Spur Hill, Togher, but her Dad is from Sweden. She has seen sneachta — shed loads — for real. Not only that, but her Daidí HAS SEEN SANTA. FOR REAL.
“Once, Santa came, just after my Daidí was finished eating his dinner (“tar éis an dinnéir”). It was in Sweden,” she says.
Cue Santa envy all round. What kid could top that? One could.
Kate Ní Mhuíneacháin (8) from Ballinhassig, is heading for Lapland with Mamaí, a sister and an aunty.
“Ní bheidh mé ar scoil,” she says to further sighs of classroom envy.
Kate has six fish, two dogs and one sister.
She feels sorry for the Baby Jesus that he was born in a stable but she doesn’t think he was “uaigneach” (lonely). There were after all shepherds, three Wise men, hay and animals.
Kate, who displays an aptitude for logic, has her own theory on why Santa comes down the chimney. “Níl aon eochair aige,” she says (he doesn’t have any key).
While she would really like a “capall” (horse) for Christmas, her Daidí would like chicken.
She wraps her news with the announcement that she’s stopping off in London on the way to Lapland.
Clodagh Ní Mhurchú is pretty well travelled too. From Matthew Hill in Togher, she’s taken in New York, Boston, and even One Direction at the 3Arena with Mamaí. She REALLY likes music. She’s hoping for a stereo for Christmas.
A STEREO? (Cue blank faces of classmates).
In a world where an entire music collection can sit in a device that fits in your pocket, an 8-year-old child has heard of a STEREO? I’m gobsmacked.
Until I move onto the next ceist (question). What music do they like? And has anyone ever heard of Bono? Nope, not on Clodagh’s radar.
Not on anyone’s radar, teacher Dara Ó Tuama informs me, until a couple of weeks ago when Ireland’s biggest rockstar fell off his bike in America.
Guess what that means? It means SANTA IS BIGGER THAN BONO! NO WAY! YES! TÁ SANTA NÍOS CÁILIÚLA NÁ BONO! (SANTA IS MORE FAMOUS THAN BONO!)
Darach Ó Fainín from Glasheen is “cinnte” (certain) that he was “go maith” during 2014 and is therefore expecting his Christmas wish list to be met in full. That’ll be a couple of games for the 3DS, Santa.
Darach’s dad’s name is Noel because he was born around Christmas.
Thomas Mac Aogáin HEARD SANTA. “Chuala me Santa,” he says.
He clarifies this by saying that what he actually heard was Santa’s sleigh bells.
He was in bed at the time and Santa was hovering somewhere close to his chimney pots in Spur Hill, Togher.
“I never saw Santa but I know he wears red and white,” Thomas says with a certain air of authority.
He would like games for his Xbox.
Thomas would also like a “madra” (dog). FOR REAL.
Micheál Ó hAodha may have a career in stand-up.
Aged 8 from Bishopstown, he doesn’t join in the general chorus of “milk” when I ask what Santa drinks. His grandad knows better. “Smithwicks” he says. Or maybe “Murphy’s”.
When reminded by teacher that grandad has goats, he thinks maybe Santa may drink goat’s milk.
He loves Liverpool football team and is hoping for a Liverpool annual. He’s a big fan of Steven Gerrard and Mario Balotelli, although he concedes the team’s performance this year has been disappointing. “Tá díoma orm” he says (I am disappointed).
Tá díoma orm freisin when everyone shakes their heads when I ask if they’ve heard of Roy Keane.
Everyone except Jordan Mac Cárthaigh (7) from Ballincollig.
His dad met him, he says. And he saw him on The Late Late Show. That’s the show Jordan is allowed watch once a year when that man with the funny jumpers enters the kiddie version of Aladdin’s Cave.
When I ask the class about Santa’s travel arrangements, little has changed. Donal Ó hÉanna from Castlewhite says he delivers presents by sleigh, which seems a little outmoded compared to Dr Who’s Tardis or Virgin Galactic’s rocket option. But then Santa’s safety record on the vast sky highway is unblemished so maybe nine reindeers, dependent for guidance on a glowing red nose, is more sophisticated than any commercial suborbital vehicle.
Jack Mac an tSamhraidh from Wilton points out that Santa will be sober “Ní bheidh se ag ól,” he says. If he was “ní féidir leis tiomáint” (he couldn’t drive).
Kieran de Barra from College Road will be leaving out cookies for Daidí na Nollag and maybe mince pies. Aoibhe Ní Dhuibhir (8) from Carrigrohane would like a surprise but her thoughts are not all for herself. “I would like if everyone has a happy Christmas.”
Richard Ó Buacalla from Church Hill would like an iPad while Siobhán Nic Artúir (7) from Curraheen Road would like a surprise, Lego Friends and Slyvanian Families Beechwood Hall. In the interim, she’s getting a fish for her birthday.
Jack Ó Brádaigh from Inniscarra has two Christmas trees, one green and one “bán dearg” (pink).
Seosaph Ó Súilleabháin from the Lough is sick of seeing the movie Frozen. His sister has watched it, like, a million times. Or at least 10. “Ni bheidh me ag féachaint ar Frozen Lá na Nollag,” he says emphatically. (“I won’t be watching Frozen on Christmas Day”). In fact Frozen appears to have lost its glow. When I ask the class for a show of hands in favour of the hit, the response is lukewarm. Seems Frozen ain’t cool anymore.
Jerry Ó Mathúna would like Playstation 3. Leonie Ní Loinsigh from Bishopstown doesn’t mention any presents but says they will be holding a jumble sale for “na daoine bochta” (the less well off).
Michael Collins from Ballincollig (called after his grandad, not the revolutionary) is not on the naughty list. “Ní raibh me dána,” he says. So he’d like Lego Airport.
Ciara Ní Choirc says the Leanbh Íosa was born in a stable because they were nowhere near a hospital.
Sophia Ní Iarlatha from Ballincollig is looking forward to the Leanbh Íosa’s breithlá (birthday) and to her Holy Communion, which she’s making next year.
Then finally, there’s an múinteoir, Dara Ó Tuama. Santa is very generously funding a pre-Christmas trip to New York, which I reckon puts him top of the “Nice” list. The kids certainly think so too.
As my visit draws to a close, Rang a dó treats me to a song which stays with me long after I’ve left the building.
I decide I am “in éad le Santa” (jealous of Santa). If only I could command such respect even half of the time
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