Ho, ho, ho... hold it there!`
IT’S the date looming in all our diaries: the Office Christmas Party.
Santa’s belt may be tighter than ever before, but most companies will still stretch to an office shindig this festive season.
Between the free bar and the forced sense of camaraderie though, the office party can easily end up being filed under ‘D’, for disaster.
With that in mind, here are our golden rules for surviving the end-of-year bash. Yule thank us in the morning.
Having cracked the whip all year, your boss is finally giving you the night off. So the number-one rule is to enjoy yourself. Shop talk is strictly forbidden. No one wants to get stuck sitting next to Ebenezer Scrooge at the dinner table. Trust us, there’ll be plenty of time to discuss all those fascinating spreadsheets when you’re nursing a sore head by the water cooler in the morning. Bah, humbug!
You may both be off duty, but remember that the boss is still, well, the boss. Be polite, sure, but now is not the time to start moaning about the fact that the microwave doesn’t work or wrangling for a raise. Play it safe by asking the boss what they like to do outside of work or their plans for Christmas instead.
Be aware that they might try the old switcheroo though, asking the questions instead of answering them, so don’t let your guard down. It’s fine to tell them you’re a fan of M&S, but probably not S&M. And definitely do not get caught under the mistletoe together.
There’s a dress code in the office, and whether the email invite says it or not, there’s one at the festive knees-up too. To wit, it is not necessary to find out whether Sharon from Marketing’s bellybutton is an “inny” or an “outy”, or Sean from IT has a torso so hirsute that birds have started nesting in it for the winter. Say ho-ho-NO to plunging necklines, VPLs and novelty jumpers.
But you don’t have to be suited and booted like Santa. Strike a happy medium between naughty and nice with an LBD for girls and smart shirt and jeans for guys.
While a couple of glasses of mulled wine are sure to ease the pain of socialising with your colleagues, whether or not you’d rather be at home untangling the fairy lights, do try to stay the right side of ‘Merry’ this Christmas. Frankly, these days, you’d be lucky if there was a free bar. On the off chance there is though, arriving an hour early to get a head start on your coworkers or ordering doubles all night should be frowned upon. Crucially, you should remain upright at all times.
As the saying goes, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. Most offices are full of cliques. Break out of your comfort zone by chatting to everyone from the cleaning staff to the CEO and the annual bash. Who knows, making the right friends could even help further your career come the New Year. If nothing else, being chipper at the Christmas party will help others get through the night.
With the mulled wine flowing and mistletoe hanging, it wouldn’t be Christmas without an office fling. Before you don your beer goggles, however, it’s reassuring to know your coffee/cigarette break buddy’s got your back — and vice versa. Come up with a code word beforehand for when you get cornered by the canapés by ‘Boring Barry’ from Sales. But if it’s ‘Dishy Dave’ from Accounts who’s decided to turn on the charm — make sure you are left alone.
If there’s anything worse than the morning after the night before, it’s photographic evidence of how you all got into that state in the first place. You probably don’t even need to see the snaps to know there’ll be one of Colin from Accounts comatose under a table and Helen from Human Resources doing the splits on the dance floor. So it doesn’t take Three Wise Men to figure out that iPhones, Facebook and Twitter should be outlawed on the night.
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