Talk To Me: We're separated but I'm jealous of her new relationship

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

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My wife and I separated about five years ago and have stayed on good terms for the sake of our two teenage children. Our daughter recently told me that my ex has met a man online and they’re going on weekly dates. I know it’s her business and we’re no longer a couple but I’m surprised by how upset and jealous I feel. I’m currently single, which probably doesn’t help.

When a marriage ends, we may go through a period of grief and recovery. As our ship steadies, we may assume we have resolved that pain and have moved on. The reality is that we may need to revisit the loss several times before we have truly integrated the experience. When we are confronted with this pain yet again, it can be quite disorientating or even shocking.