Sex File: I can't stop fantasising about my colleague

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I'm attracted to someone at work. I would never act on it, but I'm feeling guilty because it means the sex I have with my husband of 17 years has actually improved, as I find myself thinking of my colleague instead. What's going on and should I feel bad?

Using fantasy to increase intensity in a long-term sexual relationship is not unusual, so you shouldn't feel bad. Research shows that most of the adult population have sexual fantasies, but when your thoughts are directly linked to a real-world sexual attraction, things become more complicated. Although you say that you would never act on your crush, if it is someone you work with, you will be spending a large amount of time in close proximity. Sexual attraction is often a two-way thing and if there is chemistry between you, you are playing with fire.