Sex file: He hates making love in the summer — why?

My libido ramps up in the summer but it's the opposite for my husband

If the weather is warm, the best time of day to have sex is in the morning because body temperature lowers overnight

Q: "The summer seems to ramp up my libido, but it does the opposite for my husband. He stops initiating altogether and can't seem to get in the mood, even if I do. He says he hates getting hot and sweaty and gets grumpy about both. Why does hot weather have such opposite effects on our sex drives?"

A: THIS letter was obviously written during last month's heatwave. I actually begged my husband to put the heating on during the recent cooler spell. He refused. He says it's because it is July, but really it's because he, like your man, hates being hot. I'm not saying it's a gender thing, but in my experience it is generally women who feel the cold and men who hate the heat. There may be an evolutionary explanation for this.

No one does well in extreme temperatures, but animal studies show that sperm production is optimal at slightly lower temperatures whereas egg production is optimised at slightly higher temperatures. In humans, studies on the relationship between hot weather and fertility have generally found that the number of babies born drops nine months after a temperature spike.

Having said that, research on hormonal fluctuations through the seasons shows that levels of testosterone are slightly higher in the summer months. This may be because exposure to sunlight can increase the production of vitamin D in the body, and increased vitamin D has been associated with higher testosterone levels, which are, in turn, associated with increased sexual desire.

Warmer weather can cause an increase in blood flow, which can lead to increased sexual arousal. And heat can cause the body to produce more endorphins, which can create a natural high and boost libido.

Of course, the impact of weather on libido is complex and can vary greatly from person to person. Individual factors such as health conditions and relationship dynamics can also significantly influence sexual desire and arousal. If your partner is, for example, overweight, he may find hot weather extremely uncomfortable, and that will definitely have a negative impact on his libido.

It may also impact his erectile function, especially if he doesn't drink enough water. Dehydration causes vasoconstriction, and when blood vessels narrow it becomes much more difficult to achieve an erection. Being hot and tired can lead to a decrease in testosterone and dopamine, which are involved in sex drive, and increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can impede sexual function.

Without knowing more about your husband's situation, the best thing I can suggest is that you focus on having sex when he feels relaxed. If the weather is warm, the best time of day to have sex is in the morning because body temperature lowers overnight, and your husband is likely to have more energy first thing in the morning. Even so, two bodies together can generate a lot of heat, so it can be a good idea to avoid positions where your bodies are in full contact.

You could use ice cubes in an imaginative way, or buy 'cooling' lubricant that feels icy when it touches the skin.

Keeping your bedroom cool through the night will help too. If you want to have sex in the evening, he should have a warm bath first — it sounds counterintuitive, but after a bath your body temperature drops quite significantly. And it's not just good for sex — it will help you both to get a better night's sleep.

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