Sex File: I don't like the way he's spicing things up in bed 

'It takes two to get an ailing sex life back on track and it generally requires a mutually agreed strategy'

Picture: iStock 

My husband and I have been together for 17 years. Inevitably, sex became a bit routine so we agreed to change things. However, I’m not loving the ways he has been 'spicing it up' with language and moves I’m guessing he has got from porn. When I told him this turned me off he wasn’t happy. Now we’re not even having our 'boring' old sex. What should I do?

Oh dear. He tried to raise his game but he has only succeeded in turning you off. Now he is sulking and you are not having any sex at all. His attempt to 'spice things up' sounds clumsy and performative, but by criticising him you may have ensured that he won’t try again.