Sex File: How can I teach him to please me? 

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I'm a 27-year-old woman and I am all for being more confident in telling a guy what I want in the bedroom. But I haven't worked out how to do it without it sounding like a set of instructions. I'd like some guidance on helpful ways of communicating, because "to the left" does not feel very sexy.

Great communication is the key to a satisfying sex life, but it is difficult to get the tone right. Step-by-step instructions can sound bossy and unsexy, but saying nothing is not helpful either. Having sex with someone who remains completely mute is unsettling. You have no idea what they are thinking or feeling and that can be terribly off-putting. In contrast, having a partner who tells you that when you do X it feels great, or that they love the way you do Y is very reassuring. If you are worried about sounding dictatorial, it could be as simple as softening your tone. Your partner doesn't need step-by-step instructions, but he does need feedback.