Esther McCarthy: Is the world ready for the Cork version of the trad wife movement?

Enjoy this exclusive, first look, step-by-step guide to my Flapjack Surprise.

There is nothing else for it. I shall make a batch of my own flapjacks.

I am throwing stuff at the lunch boxes, Groundhog Day style. 

Frozen ham roll, check. (Side note — this has been a game changer, make a load of sandwiches whenever you get the time and the notion, put them in individual bags and throw them in the freezer. Take out the night before to defrost if you are organised, or if you’re like me, only remember in the morning when you’re flinging everything else at the counter and hoping they end up in the right box. Heaven forbid the middle fella gets a green apple, or there’s tuna anywhere near the youngest. Even SAY the word mayonnaise, and he’ll get the gawks. Anyway, even if you do only remember that morning, it will be defrosted and fresh by second lunch. Did one child chip a tooth on a frozen roll that one time? That’s not for me to say, your honour. I contend it could have been a number of things.)