Edel Coffey: Let’s stop this cycle of getting our bodies ‘ready’ for occasions
Picture: Bríd O'Donovan
I always feel like winter has truly begun once I crack out the 40-denier tights.
These winter wardrobe staples offer a kind of sartorial cocoon for me, a way of putting my body into a protective state, away from the cruel standards and expectations we endure in the warmer months, when arms and legs are exposed to scrutiny and judgment (usually our own).
It’s nice to get into the winter months, where waistbands can secretly strain a little under large woolly jumpers and legs can remain pale and untended beneath dark tights. At least until April. It’s a welcome respite from the labour-intensive work of having a female body.
But I’ve recently noticed a trend that is threatening my hibernation from punishing body standards. While we are firmly in 40-denier tights season, the body boot-camp talk has not quelled.
In fact, the get your body beach-ready refrain has simply started a new verse, replacing the word beach with Christmas. I had thought that all I had to do to get my body Christmas-ready was to stick on a sparkly dress and eat a few mince pies.
But no, it seems we are now in a cycle of getting our bodies ‘ready’ for each consecutive season, occasion, festivity, or party.
We’ve long been familiar with the idea of getting our bodies ‘beach-ready’, or indeed with brides getting their bodies ‘ready’ for their wedding day.
The bride will embark on a thing called a ‘cleanse’, which is really a socially acceptable word for a starvation diet, just so they can have a sexy clavicle in their photos (I’m honestly not making this up, clavicle-envy is real in the bridal community).
When my own wedding came around I had very small children and a diet that consisted mainly of those children’s toast cast-offs. I thought momentarily about going on a diet but in the end, I just bought a dress that fit me and got married in that.
I didn’t wear Spanx either because they’re uncomfortable and I didn’t want to be uncomfortable on a day that was about celebration and happiness.
I wanted to enjoy myself, not be slowly being strangled by my own body fat. The photographs of my wedding show a very happy woman with toned, muscular arms (I was constantly carrying two babies at this time) and a belly that looked like a bag of trifle.
Looking back at the pictures now, I find I don’t mind that my stomach isn’t a smooth flat line under my dress.
I just remember how happy I was in that moment. I don’t think I would have had a better day had I lost several pounds before the event.
I might even have enjoyed the day less if we are to go on evidence.
Any time in the past when I have been very strict with myself about what I ate or drank with the sole intention of being thinner, I was having very little fun.
Instead of enjoying partaking in the joy of life that is sharing food and drink with friends, I would calculate how much sugar was in the glass of wine and refuse to allow myself to tuck into the bowl of crisps.
I’ve never really been able to diet with any lasting commitment. I like to think it has more to do with good sense than with my sheer greed for food, but it probably is a bit of both.
We live in an era of body positivity. We know that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and yet we continue to push a certain beauty standard.
I know it’s damaging and so unimportant, particularly in light of the fact that I am healthy and have so much to be grateful for… and yet, the mindset persists and I try my best to be aware that it is a negative one.
Around this time last year, I had to go to the Irish Book Awards ceremony. I agonised over dresses as I was nominated for a couple of awards.
Again, I considered going on a bit of a diet beforehand but in the end, I did myself the enormous kindness of buying an ankle-length long-sleeved dress made of stretchy black velvet.
It was so comfortable and I felt great. It is possible to enjoy ourselves without perfect bodies, perfect dresses, and perfect Instagram pictures so let’s stop this cycle of getting our bodies ‘ready’ for occasions.
Much better to focus on consistent health, wellbeing, fitness, self-acceptance and meeting ourselves where we are at.
To get your body ready for Christmas, I would argue no action needs to be taken.
Your body, by sheer fact of its existence, is ready for (and worthy of) Christmas and any other occasion that might be on the horizon.
