Derval O'Rourke: How I’ve learned to deal with expectations in different areas

Plus a tasty turkey stir fry recipe

Having a support network to talk through your expectations and to give you feedback on your expectations versus reality is really critical.

There are many different areas of our lives that require expectation management, from work to home, to our relationships. Our expectations can have a profound effect on how we feel. Expectations are defined as beliefs about future events, outcomes or behaviors, shaping a person’s outlook and influencing their decision-making. This week, I’ll chat about expectation management and how I’ve learned to deal with expectations in different areas.

Recipe wise it is a turkey stir fry, which will definitely meet all your expectations!

This is an Olympic year which means that lots of athletes from around the country are planning to travel to Paris and compete in the Olympic Games for Team Ireland. I competed in my first Olympic Games 20 years ago and it taught me a huge life lesson in managing expectations. I travelled to that Olympics with the hope that things would click into place and I would be among the best in the world. I was very wrong! After that experience, I sat down and analysed how I could improve as an athlete and ultimately manage my expectations. In the years since, I feel that experience has stood to me.

No matter who you are and how your life looks, you will have expectations. Whether that is preparing for an Olympic Games, planning a wedding, starting a new job, getting fit etc, managing these expectations is really helpful to get the most out of various parts of your life.

There are three ways that I try to manage my expectations that I’ve found helpful in various areas of my life.

1. Be realistic

Our expectation should be based on something that is realistic. For example if you want to increase your fitness you need to look at where you are currently and aim for a level that is realistic from that point. If you’ve never run before then aiming to run a marathon isn’t particularly realistic but aiming to run 5km is. Set your expectations to match your reality. It’s so easy to feel disappointed about not reaching a goal, but if your goal and your expectations are grounded in reality then you’re far more likely to get the desired outcome.

2. Stay present

When I was in the world of professional sport I had to work hard on staying present. If my expectations of a performance were particularly high, I needed to stay grounded in the present moment and the tasks that would get me to that performance. If I drifted towards my expectation of how the achievement would feel, then I struggled to perform. I found using elements of mindfulness really helpful. Staying present can also be really helpful if your expectation of a future situation is negative.

3, Support network

Having a support network to talk through your expectations and to give you feedback on your expectations versus reality is really critical. By nature, I can be overly optimistic and regularly need to talk through what I’m expecting from situations. For example, in a work setting this can be as simple as me discussing the long-term outcome of a project with someone and working through the steps to get to the outcome with someone connected to the project, this support helps me greatly. Talking to a counsellor or mental health professional in the area of expectation management can be a great help.

Wellness Tip: Grab a pen and paper, write down a scenario where you have high expectations and write some key points around this. What can you do to help manage those expectations?

Fitness Tip: It’s a great time of year to resume walking/jogging if you haven’t been out in a while. Try 30 seconds of a brisk effort and 1 minute relaxed pace for 30 minutes.

Turkey Stir Fry

recipe by:Derval O'Rourke

This turkey stir fry will definitely meet all your expectations.

Servings

2

Preparation Time

 10 mins

Cooking Time

 15 mins

Total Time

 25 mins

Course

 Main

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp coconut oil

• 1 onion, finely sliced

• 1 chilli, finely chopped

• 4 garlic cloves, crushed

• a thumb-sized length of

• ginger, grated

• a handful of broccoli,

• broken into small florets

• 1 carrot, peeled and cut

• into matchsticks

• 1 pepper, finely sliced

• 2 chicken fillets, roughly

• chopped

• 3 tbsp soy sauce

• 1 tbsp fish sauce

• 1 packet of straight to wok noodles

• a handful of basil leaves

Method

1. Heat the coconut oil in a large pan over medium-high heat. Add the onion, chilli, garlic and ginger and stir-fry for about 3 minutes.

2. Add the broccoli, carrot and pepper and stir-fry for another 3 minutes.

3. Add the chicken, soy sauce and fish sauce and stir-fry for 8 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through.

4. Add the straight to wok noodles 6.Spoon the stir fry into warmed serving bowls. Tear the basil leaves and scatter over the stir-fry.

5. Serve without delay.