Celebrity ploughing, set to be the next big thing?
Has Jeremy Clarkson, star of the TV show Clarkson's Farm, set a trend for celebrity ploughing?
The plough and the stars. If you ask me, celebrity ploughing is just around the corner.
Like alien life, it's surely only a matter of time before someone strikes upon it.
Right now, celebrities are practically doing everything else.
They are baking, cooking, dancing on ice, dancing with the stars, they are even swinging off branches in a jungle.
They are doing everything really, bar spending a day hooked up to a plough and demonstrating to the world how good they are at getting a furrow as straight and as level, as the devil himself.
And I believe the crowds would certainly flock to a plot where the likes of Jennifer Lopez or the Pope might perhaps be turning the sod, and in competition in the Intermediate Conventional Plough Class.
Lopez, to my mind would have the edge over the Pope, for I have always credited her with having a very sharp eye.
The Pope, I believe, could sway quite easily into ecumenical matters and forget to adjust the plough depth when it matters most.
Put Lopez on a Massey, put her on anything really, and just stand back and admire her fancy work.
She might be Jenny from the block, and have the looks of a movie star, but more importantly for us, she has the eye of a great ploughman.
All that remains to be seen, is if she has the natural skill to follow through. I believe she does.
Of course, you might wonder how would we get celebrities to the ploughing, considering its location in the Irish heartland. "It's not exactly in Las Vegas," you might crib.
Well in the name of God, sure isn't that the very reason why it might work!?
And better again, aren't celebrities flocking there already in their droves?
I mean, the likes of Marty Morrissey and Dáithi Ó Sé are probably the first through the gate every morning, tis how they are hard to avoid.
Getting celebrities there would not be a problem.
And putting them up on a tractor would not only draw a crowd, but it would satisfy a celeb's desire to take their ploughing fantasies to a whole new level.
I believe also that Sydney Sweeney, Paul McCartney and former president of Ireland Mary Robinson would be tremendous, if left to guide a plough either on a tractor or behind a pair of horses.
Mary Robinson herself, like Jennifer Lopez, has an eye for detail.
I'd put Mary in the traditional Horse Plough Class and after a few lessons, I'd say she'd take on the great Horgan brothers of Ballinagree.
She might have been a great President for leaving a light on for the Irish diaspora, but you just watch her expertly turn the sod in Screggan or elsewhere, and you'd be quick to forget about the lights.
Most celebrities, I feel, would work wonders behind the plough, except for the likes of JK Rowling.
Jk Rowling with her spells, I feel, could be recipe for disaster.
"Leg of a spider and ear of a frog, give me the advantage when it comes to the sod.
"Hocus pocus and diddly squat, plough nice and easy on my winning plot."
Yerra, JK would have the advantage straight away, and have the ploughing won, and she not there at all.
She could have it won from the comfort of a creepy old college, a thousand miles away from the plough, the rain and the racket.
Trickery would have to be avoided at all costs, otherwise there would be no point in doing it.
Other potential ploughing celebrities would be Christy Moore obviously, and Elton John likewise.
Both I feel have 'the gift'.
Vintage competitors obviously, I would suggest in the Reversible Plough Class.
Christy would have the edge, given his love of the ordinary man, but I wouldn't rule out the rocket man either.
For while Elton John might seem like a rank outsider to win a Ploughing Championship, sure Hewick the recently retired racehorse, was a rank outsider too before taking the American Grand National back in 2022.
When it comes to the plough and indeed the stars, I wouldn't rule anything out, instead I would only be inviting everyone to join in.
