The Lord Grantham of Irish farming

With his rugged, yet charming way, Denis reckons he can convince a banker or two to help him snag the €10m farm at Dowth.

Denis can see himself in Dowth Hall holding a glass of brandy and cracking a hunting whip off the side of his leg.

It will come as no surprise to anyone to hear that I am at present very flush with money.

My recent success at Macroom mart (where I sold three bullocks), combined with the selling of 12 half-eaten round bales to a neighbour in need, have left me rich beyond my wildest dreams.