Cormac MacConnell: Jackie Healy-Rae would’ve been proud of his fine sons
As your sons were being hoisted sky-high in your direction after their remarkable triumph there was a young man with a glic face on him who raised his eyes heavenwards and shouted “Up the Kingdom”.
I would swear that young man was saying a fervent thanks to you for your intervention in the battle.
Congratulations.
Well done indeed. It’s only yourself could contrive such a scenario.
That strong young man, because he was in the inner circle of the celebrations, could well indeed be a clansman of the rising generation who may well be elected to a seat on Kerry County Council shortly as the family you left behind you begin, clearly, to establish a genuine Renua so to speak.
I will watch all developments on that front with awe and no sense of surprise at all. And that is the pure truth yet again.
Michael and Danny’s win, with such an incredibly high basket of votes, would, you well know, be called an electoral miracle if it occurred in County Mayo.
If it did happen there, indeed, those cute hoors would immediately establish another Knock, build a basilica, and trigger off a pilgrimage tourism boom.
I know that won’t happen in Kerry because ye have Killarney and the Lakes already and don’t need that sort of thing.
It strikes me that the first time you and I met, decades ago now in Galway, you were the Chief Bonfire Builder for Fianna Fáil election celebrations there and a staunch member of the party.
It was because they did not appreciate you sufficiently that you left them and by God you have been building bonfires under their backsides ever since.
Revenge is sweet medicine.
I imagine that Paradise’s many amenities include a good lively bar for the Irish contingent. I am certain that ye had a mighty celebration along the Kilgarvan lines up there after the triumph down here below.
Surely you enjoyed it to the last drop and tune.
Incidentally, lest you have been distracted by the election excitements, can I tell you that there is likely to be a new arrival on your scene, once he gets through reception any hour now.
He is a Dub and when he enters the bar you will think you are encountering a very loud and very drunk alcoholic priest.
He is not that at all. He is the great actor Frank Kelly and one of the best. Make him welcome. He will add greatly to the craic. And that also is the purest of truths.
Forgive me as a mere mortal for being concerned about one facet of the Kerry triumph for the family.
Does the boss up there know that you are still pulling election strokes in the other dimension? Did you get clearance in advance for the miracle?
Do you need to get clearance for strokes like that? You never did down here, and neither do those clansmen coming after you, but I would hate to think of you getting into any kind of trouble for your actions.
I am not that well briefed on the structures operating up in Heaven but I do recall there was once another rising star like yourself up there in the early days.
I think his name was Lucifer and for whatever reason there was a feeling he was getting too big for his boots and he was banished altogether.
It is a fact, I think, that he was given the eternal task thereafter of building even bigger bonfires than even you ever constructed for Fianna Fáil. Just a word of warning.
On a personal note this old hack has enough of election fever for this year and would be disappointed if we had to go through the same process again in a couple of months.
Can you pull another stroke from under the flat cap and ensure we have a new Government of any class after Easter?
Please do that.
