Prof says I will get fat and stupid over wind turbines

I haven’t been able to sleep a wink since I heard the news last week that wind turbines could be making me fat and stupid.

Some professor fellow, whose name I’ve forgotten, launched the bold attack on the gigantic monsters, saying that, to his mind, living too near the yokes could cause sleep deprivation. As if you need to be a professor to come to that mighty conclusion. For they can be the noisy hoors. Wind turbines that is, not professors.

Anyhow, this sleep deprivation crack can lead to other horrible things the professor said, like eating disorders and cognitive difficulties.