She went off to Australia. Back then, emigration was just fun. Now, as part-owner of a house worth nothing, a massive mortgage, three children and parents whose health deteriorates by the day, emigration not only doesn’t look like fun, it doesn’t look possible.

I WANT an early doors closure on the elephant in the room.

WE WON’T start with the garlic.

ABOUT 10 days ago, a rumour started about the EU Commissionership.

In a war, if you wanted to take the Isle of Man, you’d just have to point Maeve at the Isle of Man and it would be yours by teatime

THE great thing about the offspring’s visit this weekend was that it eliminated any possibility of reading newspapers, thereby removing the need to take a stand on Pat Kenny’s salary, John O’Donoghue’s expenses or Batt O’Keeffe being U-turned by the Green Party.

She said the Duke of Wellington groaned over her for hours, which is surprising, given his verbal brevity in all other aspects of his life.

ARMA virumque cano.

IF YOU want to lead the next generation of Irish entrepreneurs, then you’d better get your skates on, because you have just a few days in which to get your application on the desk of the Endeavour people.

THE amazing thing is that they did it twice.