AT this stage last year we were urging everyone to keep calm. It turned out to be sound advice, albeit unheeded.

IN my youth, school days would pass with the agonising crawl of a John Terry train of thought.

THERE are only so many times you can breath a sigh of relief before you begin to hyperventilate.

“WE WON and that’s the main thing.” Get used to that little nugget, it doesn’t seem to be going away.

IT’S THE sort of thing a sulky child might say: “I didn’t want to go to Russia anyway”.

THE World Health Organisation lists the symptoms: boredom, drowsiness, short-term aversion to newspapers and mild nausea brought on by everybody else’s hype and hysteria.

SO here’s the story so far. Tom hates George. George hates Tom. Tom really hates Rick, but can’t get rid of him until George approves (which he won’t).

WE’VE checked the family tree of every single player and there’s no trace of Swedish ancestry.

SOMETIMES you should listen to the optimists. “We’ve got easier games coming up” they said.

THERE’S no place like a home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.