Panto season as Man City lurk behind us

IN my youth, school days would pass with the agonising crawl of a John Terry train of thought.

You had to make your own fun, since displaying any desire to learn was irrefutable proof of homosexuality and the precursor to a hefty beating.

We lesser delinquents were eternally grateful to the biggest class clowns, who occupied the majority of the teacher’s attention. It meant we could get away with other stuff while his back was turned.

These memories came flooding back as Newcastle and West Ham continued their campaign to make the pantomime season last 12 months. Manchester City also took centre stage, albeit cast in the unlikely role of Cinderella. They all at least ensured that far less press ink was wasted on Liverpool’s muddled start to the season and the latest stadium debacle.

There was a vain attempt to spin some controversy out of Carragher’s England remarks in his new book, but no one cares about that now surely? He’s made his choice and that should be the end of the matter.

No doubt the Americans were also grateful to Mike Ashley and whoever’s running Upton Park this week.

I predicted Keegan would be the first managerial casualty of the season, which is unusual, as normally I couldn’t even tip rubbish. Curbishley had his flounce though and kept my previously woeful record intact. As the Geordies marched and wailed with their usual insanity and unparalleled talent for aggrandisement up popped the eternal lament: “let the manager manage”.

That old chestnut again. We’ve heard that one a lot ourselves in recent years, usually from the same fans that moaned the longest about Houllier’s purchase of Diouf, Diao and Cheyrou in one career-crippling spree.

If there were a plot to unsettle Rafa all it would take is the appointment of a director of football. It wouldn’t even reach the point of resignation; he’d probably spontaneously combust.

But a manager can only do his job unfettered if he has proven beyond doubt that he has what it takes to win the ultimate prize – and he hasn’t done that yet, or even come close.

The stubborn streak which managers need can often be their undoing. For all their faults Babel and El Zhar had made a difference against Liege yet neither had the chance to do likewise to Villa.

It’s his fifth year and we’re still having the same old arguments. That just adds fuel to the flames since it’s seen as his final chance.

As for the latest multi-million takeover there’s a phrase in football which even the true-bluest of Mancunians use; “typical City”.

Getting your hands on limitless funds on the final day of the transfer window was another great Eastlands comedy moment, but laugh while you can. There’s no use pretending not to look over our shoulder or that we’re unaware of the possibility of losing our seat at the table.

I claimed last week that only a miracle could take our top-four spot away. When will I learn to keep my big mouth shut? You may scoff at the idea of Torres being one of their future targets, but throughout Rafa’s winter woes his support for the manager was unequivocal. One of the other foreign sugar daddies almost took Gerrard away when Houllier was sacked and it was obvious we faced a long torturous journey back to the top.

Should that befall Benitez it may be too late for the captain to try his luck elsewhere, but not for the current golden boy – and with the Yanks desperate for cash… As O’Neill (Eugene not Martin) said there is no present or future, just the past endlessly repeating itself.

I may be taking the usual doom mongering too far. Perhaps it’s the thought of you-know-who coming to Anfield Saturday, and our appalling recent record against them, which is weighing so heavily. 18/5 is still the main weapon in our propaganda armoury, but it’s become less and less of a consolation as the years go by.

There is one thought even more terrifying; that it may soon cease to be a weapon at all.