“If I don’t come back, avenge my death,” I call through the gap, towards the precious natural light, oxygen, and certain survival, “and never remarry.”

'He did our homework with us, he brought us to the dentist, he went to the parent/teacher meetings, he made breakfasts. He’d bring me a slab of toffee every Thursday, pension day'

Where’s our auditory social etiquette gone? Where’s the line? Is it OK to take a phone call in a crowd? Listen to a voice note on speaker? Let your excited dog bark?

'Just when you start getting a little smug because one kid hasn’t turned out to be a total psychopath (yet), the next one is pooing in their hand and presenting it to you like it’s a prize éclair'

Irish designs, eco-friendly suncare, and award-winning cheese

I won’t worry, when I report it down at the Garda station, if they’re going to be concerned about what I was wearing. “Now missus, tell us, was that skirt that short on entering the forest?”

It would have just been The Grand Parade peering admiringly at Crookhaven. Cousins shouting “Alright, langer!” at each other until their voices gave out and they needed boiled flat Tanora to revive themselves

"But you can’t just slope off to a shop and buy one. You must be initiated to connect with an agent. How thrilling!"

"A startling amount of the outfits seemed to have nothing to do with gardens but a fair few of them looked like they didn't have time to pull the whole thing together," writes Esther McCarthy

Esther N McCarthy sources everything from an air fryer that's also an oven to the latest goodies for coffee lovers