I use that for insects, especially butterflies. If the hoors’ll stay still.

"The Second Half isn’t just a decline. There’s renewal too."

"A city pub on a Sunday afternoon with Coke and Taytos and BBC football on the telly with their different typefaces. Who could ask for more?"

"I may have opened a Pandora’s Box. I can’t remember how we drifted onto it. It could have been that I was trying to ration the cartoons and suggested some music instead."

I love these videos of a poundshop for a combination of reasons

Somewhere after Dromahane, I got stuck behind a gaggle of cyclists.

'I imagine comedians everywhere felt that slap.'

I’d forgotten how much I like Belfast.

"I haven’t left as much room for day-dreams because I tend to just think about bad things and before I know it, I’m imagining a mushroom cloud regretting not getting more tinned food in."

It’s natural. Gossip makes the world go around and we’ve been confirming our biases about that Clown Down The Road or Herself In The Yellow House since Methusaleh was a boy