Colm O'Regan: From Lizzo to Dolly, my daughters are getting their freak on

“Can you put on the Hip Hop women Daddy?” the girls ask. I don’t know what music they’ll like in future but I’m not sure they’re going to go back to The Wiggles any time soon. I may have opened a Pandora’s Box. I can’t remember how we drifted onto it. It could have been that I was trying to ration the cartoons and suggested some music instead.

As Jon Kenny of d’Unbelievables might say, “whatever move I made”, there was Missy Misdemeanour Elliott, bould as brass. Their first Hip Hop Woman was the First Lady of Hip Hop. Not a bad start. Getting her Freak On to bate the band. Now we didn’t get into the meaning of the lyrics thankfully. The eldest asked but now understand it’s grownup stuff and she just loves the beat. The youngest is a bit scared by the absolute fever dream of a video with people lurking in sewer pipes as their freak was got on, no doubt.

And once the YouTube algorithm knows we’re in Missy territory, we’re off. Destiny’s Child and Beyonce catch the eye then. I leave out Azalea Banks and Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion or any other of Thee Stallions until the children are a good bit older and I’ve had the appropriate Safe Pass Training. But either way all roads lead to Lizzo. The Grammy-winning star from Detroit with hits like Juice and a few other humdingers. Once they see her they’re transfixed. “She’s beauuutiful.” They can’t take their eyes off her. Juice obviously gets played. But there’s a bit of “men getting lost in my DMs “ to be explained so “Good as Hell” seems to work better for them.

“Hair Toss” Daddy the youngest will shout. “Hair toss, check my nails, baby how ya feelin’? Feelin' good as he-eh-eh-elll.” They sing in the sitting room. And the video is mainly women of all shapes and sizes getting their hair done after it turned out “he don’t love you anymore”.

So far Man Bands are not really getting a look in. Apart from the funny man with the horsey dance. That’s Gangnam Style by the way. View numbers 4,294,284,900 and 4,294,284,901 were when my Two found it. It gives me a bit of breathing space from explaining the meaning behind the song because I can say I don’t speak Korean. 

But since you asked, 'Gangnam Style' “… is a Korean neologism that refers to a lifestyle associated with the Gangnam district of Seoul, where people are trendy, hip and exude a certain supposed 'class'.” So a bit like the Blackrock Road but with public transport. It’s ten years old this year by the way. When it came out the only billions in the country were the ones we owed the Germans.

I briefly broach some of my other what my wife calls Moany Man Music. But the likes of The Wedding Present who wrote some of the greatest passive-aggressive songs like Give My Love To Kevin doesn’t seem to have any empowerment message for them. “Oh, he buys you pretty things/And what does your mother think?” is not as cathartic as telling someone to toss their hair, check their nails and walk their fine ass out that door if he don’t love you anymore.

It’s getting near bedtime. They’re still a little hyped after About Damn Time, Lizzo’s latest song. Time to ‘chill the vibe’ as no one says, and bring them back to someone they’ve already been listening to but perhaps wasn’t as danceable after getting a bit of Easter Egg. And also reassuring their granny they are getting a good mix of education on powerful Women of Music. It’s Dolly Parton of course.