Colm O'Regan: I'm obsessed with videos of a poundshop. Everyone is so happy

“Oooh three for a pound!” said the Youngest Child. She knows that’s a good deal on the Malteaser bars. We’re watching the Facebook videos from my new favourite page. Poundzone Wrekenton.

Every couple of days, Graham and Lewis, the father and son team who run Poundzone Wrekenton near Newcastle, walk around their shop and advertise special offers on every sweet thing you could imagine and some you couldn’t: Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Orange, Limited Edition Pork Scratchings, Irn Bru bonbons and much, much more.

They walk unerringly through the aisles, throwing shade at the Sainsbury price before revealing the Poundzone Wrekenton deal. Occasionally shoppers appear in frame and freeze, knowing they may be seen by up to 100,000 people around the world. People who will never get to Wrekenton Poundzone still watch, soothed by special offers.

I don’t know where they get them. The offers arrive in on pallets “with more coming in tomorrow.” Despite the sea of plastic, it’s environmentally friendly and a just transition all wrapped into one. The best before dates are up within a few weeks. The people they sell to are struggling for money.

My father would have absolutely LOVED Poundzone Wrekenton videos. It would have been worth getting The Fibre Internet in for that alone to him back to glory days of Jack Caterstore on Cork’s Northside when he would get about a hundred crème eggs around Easter for fluppence-halfpenny.

Though they both do chocolate, Graham also specialises in home-ware. Listening to Persil Antibacterial Laundry Sanitizer in a Geordie accent strips the marketing and advertising bullshit out of it. He says the product name, tells us it’s a good deal and moves on. Occasionally they’ll draw our attention to something fancy. “Lotus Biscoff biscuits, now, they’ve got Belgian chocolate in it. Haven't seen that before.” Vitamin Smart Water says Lewis, three for one-fifty. If their fame grows anymore, Lewis, possibly will go onto become the most famous side-kick called Lewis since the Inspector Morse series.

I love these videos of a poundshop for a combination of reasons. For a start there’s the sheer audio pleasure of someone crinkling plastic-wrapping as they hold an unopened packet of some sort of goodie. When Graham pats the four for two pound limited-edition Walkers Sensations, it sounds like possibility, purchase, anticipation. Speaking of anticipation, smarter people than me have done studies which suggest that thinking about the biscuits you are going to have is a huge part of the pleasure of eating biscuits. With no downside. I don’t know if I’ll like these experimental flavour Pringles, but I can imagine them and never be disappointed.

It's also the most good-natured Facebook comments section you’ll see. Everyone is happy. They’ve either been in already and snaffled some of the Easter Chocolate Reindeers -which surely must be warping nature- or they’re like me: Drooling and ASMRing from five hundred miles away, pondering a pilgrimage.

It manages that a tricky balance. They are aware they are popular but are not playing to the gallery too much. There’s no Netflix special yet. The merchandise is restrained, just a few T-shirts. They occasionally add a few flourishes to make it a bit more TV: “That’s more than a kilo of chocolate for 2 pound, even better than the Galaxy deal I done you a few weeks ago guys.” Now I want to know about the Galaxy Deal. They hint at a leaderboard in the office. Healthy competition between Graham and Lewis. Maybe one day we’ll get a Shakespearian drama as the son must inevitably overthrow the father. A pallet of Onion Rings being the catalyst.

Their slogan is: when we get a deal, you get a deal. And on stressful days with the internet on fire, I get a good deal more.