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aida-austin
Aida Austin
’Customer service is built on insult and short shrift’
’Customer service is built on insult and short shrift’

TUESDAY, 1pm. 

Sat, 26 Sep, 2015

"Ninety-nine percent of the time you’re not competitive"
"Ninety-nine percent of the time you’re not competitive"

Sligo, Saturday, early afternoon. My sister and I are in the polytunnel, preparing our entries for the Boyle Summer Show, which takes place tomorrow at midday.

Sat, 19 Sep, 2015

Being competitive about the weirdest things
Being competitive about the weirdest things

Wednesday, 3 pm, Gort. We are driving up to visit my sister in Sligo, and in keeping with time-honoured tradition, the sky suddenly drops out of its customary high position and lands on the bonnet.

Sat, 12 Sep, 2015

Mark Hayes: ’Just jump out and hit the ground at 10mph’
Mark Hayes: ’Just jump out and hit the ground at 10mph’

So there I was, Sunday night, somewhere in the Hollywood Hills, about three in the morn, drunk as a skunk, debating whether or not to jump out of this moving car.

Sat, 29 Aug, 2015

’I would like to get into your car without feeling like Velma’
’I would like to get into your car without feeling like Velma’

FRIDAY, 10pm, and I’m in Cork Airport, anticipating the moment of my sister’s arrival from London with the feeling that this wonderful moment cannot come quickly enough.

Sat, 22 Aug, 2015

’I think, Mrs Beeton could not have been more formidable’
’I think, Mrs Beeton could not have been more formidable’

Home, 5pm – and we have just finished renovating my studio’s modest kitchen. 

Sat, 15 Aug, 2015

"It was like thrashing about all day in a swimming pool of glue"
"It was like thrashing about all day in a swimming pool of glue"

HOME, 11pm, and my husband and I are in bed.

Sat, 08 Aug, 2015

’Never mind the tax,’ he says, ’just drive.’
’Never mind the tax,’ he says, ’just drive.’

IT IS the evening before my return to Ireland and I am sitting at the table in my sister’s apartment, eating Thai fish cakes with buttery green beans, and cloth table napkins.

Sat, 01 Aug, 2015

I lift up my spray gun nozzle and point it at his face
I lift up my spray gun nozzle and point it at his face

1 PM, and I’m in the shower cubicle, choking on bleach fumes; my excitement at selling the house, I think [scrub... scrub], has been worn thin [scrub... scrub] by constant cleaning.

Sat, 25 Jul, 2015

"Just look at that sky, not a single cloud in it"
"Just look at that sky, not a single cloud in it"

London Pride, Piccadilly – and love is in the air. I can’t get away from all the affection.

Sat, 18 Jul, 2015

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