Women happy to use sex as power, but dream of ideal home

WOMEN would be five times happier having an ideal weight or a dream home than having better sex, according to a new survey.

Just 8% of those questioned said it would make them happier, way behind the 40% who would opt for a dream house. And being their ideal weight would bring happiness to 46% - a figure rising to 53% among 18 to 24-year-olds, showing better sex is not the route to a better life for most women.

They are also using the bedroom to gain the upper hand in relationships but are not necessarily satisfied when they get there.

Modern living has meant about half the women questioned said they were often too tired for sex.

Yet even when in the mood, 40% admitted refusing sex with their partner because they were angry with them and 19% did the same “to be in control”.

The decision to hold back could be because many women feel unsatisfied between the sheets.

Half the 1,003 women aged 18 to 64 questioned for Good Housekeeping magazine said they wanted more romance during sex.

The results have led to the conclusion that some women are exploiting their influence in the bedroom.

Prof Raj Persaud, a consultant psychiatrist who analysed the findings, said: “Women may feel they don’t get enough control over their work, they’re put upon by colleagues, they feel guilty about not being a better mother.

“But the bedroom is the one place where they can regain control. They can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

“This survey suggests that withholding sex is a tactic in the power battle between the sexes.”

And it seems sex is far from women’s minds when they have time to spare.

Almost three out of 10 of the women polled would see a friend if they had an extra hour in the day, 19% would go shopping and just 16% would make love.

However, the research found many women have turned to less wholesome pursuits to try to make themselves happier.

More than one-in-five admit drinking alcohol to excess to improve matters, 15% said they “seriously” overate, 38% shopped “recklessly” and 13% took anti-depressants.

Lindsay Nicholson, Good Housekeeping editor-in-chief, said: “The magazine constantly addresses issues with practical guidance and solutions. This includes sex, love and relationships.”