‘Lads, it’s Tottenham’: Missing out on Eze just the latest slip on a banana skin

Supporting Tottenham Hotspur so often means imagining the most ludicrous, embarrassing thing that could possibly befall the club and then knowing, with crystal clarity, that it’s going to happen.

APOLOGIES: Tottenham Hotspur manager Thomas Frank (left) and chairman of Tottenham Hotspur Daniel Levy arrives to the stadium ahead of the pre-season friendly match at Kenilworth Road, Luton. Pic: Nigel French/PA Wire

Earlier this month, my Spurs WhatsApp group was debating whether, if you could only have one, you’d sign Eberechi Eze or Savinho. Ever the ray of sunshine, I confessed that my “gut feeling” was that we wouldn’t get either. A few days later, I doubled down.

Despite reports suggesting Eze was practically on the 149 bus headed for N17, I had the nagging sense that Arsenal might gazump us at the last minute. The reason for such a grim forecast was that I’d seen this tragi-comic movie before. Spurs have “nearly” signed everyone from Jean-Pierre Papin to Eden Hazard to Rivaldo, who famously wrote to Glenn Hoddle outlining why he’d inexplicably chosen San Siro over White Hart Lane.