Everton ashes dreams go up in smoke

Supporters of Everton Football Club will no longer be able to have their ashes buried at their stadium, it was announced today.

Management at the club said there was no more space left at Goodison Park.

The remains of around 800 supporters have been laid to rest at the stadium since the club began offering the service in 1989.

Ian Ross, a spokesman for the club, said: “The truth is that we have used up all the available pitch-side space, we simply cannot accommodate any more ashes.

“It is very disappointing because, from the club’s perspective, we always regarded it as akin to the ultimate honour that someone would want Goodison Park to represent their final resting place.

“We never publicised or advertised the fact that we did this. It was simply a service we provided for the club’s supporters.”