TERRACE TALK: Man United - Original Boy Wonder left to Roo past and future

At half-time yesterday, one of my ageing colleagues, known for his punchy pessimism, summed up proceedings better than I could: “Same old shoite, then. A team full of physically weak cowards, and the only hope of a goal is if Martial makes something out of nothing.”

Hats off to the old grump: Ten minutes later, his point was amply proved, as Le Garçon Des Merveilles did the business, before we all drifted back into slumber again. (Or snuck off to find a screen on which to watch the cricket final: Manic excitement but with an unhappy ending, and thus the exact opposite of Old Trafford’s miserable fare.)

The original Boy Wonder, aka the (injured) Wayne Rooney, must have been looking on as his former and current teams laboured — and perhaps wondering about his future?