Life’s a bench for frustrated stars

WE’LL fight them on the benches.

It has been an enthralling week among the Premier League’s disaffected. What began with some run-of-the-mill bottle-kicking and sulking from Luis Suarez and Frank Lampard switched up a gear with a bout of high-grade flouncing from Edin Dzeko, then erupted like a pierced boil when Carlos Tevez went down with the light blue flu in Munich.

Naturally, many hands have since made light work of the wringing. Graeme Souness — such a fine reader of public sentiment that he did an interview with The Sun on the third anniversary of Hillsborough — spoke for the people when he denounced Tevez as the epitome of all that’s wrong with modern football.