They think it will be all over

IT’S the decider, the moment of definition, the ultimate six-pointer, the crunch game all those other crunch games call ‘The Guvnor’.

Except, of course, that this is the Premiership, 2010-11, a season in the sun and the rain for the great, the good and West Ham, Wolves and Wigan. In short, a campaign predictable only in its unpredictability and one which, if the crazy paving pattern of what’s gone before is to be followed through to the very end, could yet render tomorrow’s game another late staging post rather than the final destination.

Whatever happens at Old Trafford, only the bravest of the brave would dare to predict that both Manchester United and Chelsea would inevitably stroll through their final games against, respectively, Blackburn and Blackpool, and Newcastle and Everton. Of course, they should, but it seems to me that, in this season which has confounded any and every attempt to place it in good working order, it’s a bit late in the day for normality to break out now.

Just consider some of the improbable events which have brought us to this point, from top to bottom and back again. I mean, who’d a thunk that Chelsea would claw back a 15-point deficit? That Fernando Torres would end up at Stamford Bridge in the first place and then fail to make any significant impact on that comeback bar saving his goal — literally — for the rainy day? Or that Blackpool would come out of the traps like title contenders and then succumb to that dreaded second season syndrome before they’d even completed the first? Or, for heaven’s sake, that Arsenal would choke so spectacularly?

Okay, scrap that last one.

But you get the picture. And, speaking of choking, Michael Essien must be hoping that he wasn’t talking with his mouth full when he reached for a culinary analogy to describe Chelsea’s topsy turvy title chase. “It has been a sweet and sour season,” he said this week. “To use a sandwich analogy: sweet bread at the top, sour filling and more sweet bread at the bottom.”

As Norwich prepare to join the madness, it’s understood that Delia Smith is studying his comments with interest.

As it happens, the mighty Essien’s colourful analysis is one which seems to be shared by many analysts, even if the ‘m’ word they have in mind is momentum rather than mustard.

But, again, this is a season which has already taught us that the Big M is all fine and dandy — until it comes to a shuddering halt. Certainly, a run of 25 points from a possible total of 27 is what would usually be considered championship form — and it makes United’s haul of 16 over the last nine look positively puny — but there are factors unique to tomorrow’s game which make me think that Chelsea will come away from Old Trafford with, at best, a point.

One is psychological. For all the talk of the Blues’ momentum, as against United’s recent wobbles, the bulk of the pressure will be on the visitors. This is a must-win game for Chelsea whereas a draw would see United retain the whip hand at the top. And while Alex Ferguson’s teams never set out to hold what they have, it’s always reassuring to know that, if the game is still hanging in the balance late on, the onus is on the opposition to take all the risks — and, in the process, leave themselves open to a sucker punch.

Add in the fact that home form has been the making — indeed, you could say the saving — of United’s season, and I find it hard to see how they won’t have enough to keep Chelsea at bay and, perhaps, even take the three points which would represent a giant step towards the title. (Until, as already mentioned, they stumble over little Blackpool, of course).

Whatever way it all pans out, Carlo Ancelotti has already clearly done more than enough to justify his retention as manager at Stamford Bridge next season, overcoming enemies within and without and, despite all sorts of complications and provocations which would have driven lesser managers barking mad, somehow managing to restrict exposure of his stress levels to that acrobatic eyebrow entertainment of his.

Of course, Roman Abramovich won’t see the upside if Chelsea don’t retain their title so unless the Russian opts for a truly revolutionary approach — you know, something wacky like giving a good manager a chance to get on with the job — then it’ll be bye, bye Carlo.

Things are rather different at Old Trafford where Ferguson only has to consult with the mirror to determine his future. And even after the Premiership has run its course, there will be the small matter of a Champions League final against Barcelona to help further concentrate his mind.

Of course, there has been much talk this week of how Jose Mourinho has effectively ruled himself out of the Fergie succession stakes as a result of his latest crossing over to the dark side in Spain.

And it’s true — I mean, whatever would Man United want with a highly successful and hugely motivated manager who slams referees, by turns charms and bullies the media, defends the indefensible in his players and frequently behaves as if there are all kinds of conspiracies afoot designed solely to undermine his club.

Answers on a postcard, please — oh, and rest assured, there won’t be anything remotely controversial like that at Old Trafford tomorrow.