Tune in, Kop out with a Chippy on his shoulder

STILL haven’t quite gotten my head around Liverpool v Arsenal on Tuesday night — all that passion, drama, craziness and controversy.

And that was just Montrose — boom, boom.

Con Houlihan was once asked what he made of Ireland’s celebrated journey through their first ever World Cup finals in 1990. “I missed it,” the great man replied, “I was in Italy.”

I’ve felt something similar since returning from Anfield to discover that the whole country seems to be talking, not so much about the game itself, but about the apres match pyrotechnics on RTÉ.

Fortunately, these days virtually anything of interest — and a whole lot more which isn’t — turns up on YouTube faster than you can press ‘play’, so I’ve since been able to review at leisure the entertaining set-to between Liam Brady and Eamon Dunphy, with supporting roles from Bill O’ Herlihy and Graeme Souness.

Brady, as we know, took exception to the insertion of a video package of Arsene Wenger going hopping mad on the touchline, a spectacle which was accompanied by Dunphy’s mischievous reference to John Cleese and the Ministry Of Silly Walks. This was all too much for Chippy — an Arsenal employee, as if we need reminding — who solemnly informed Bill that he wouldn’t have gone on air had he known such diabolical stuff was in the can. This provoked apparent shock on the host’s part and, as you might expect, further derisory comment from Dunphy.

And, it must be said, justly derisory at that. Brady has been terrific as an analyst for RTÉ, a sane and sober contrast to the operatic stuff which occasionally erupts beside him. But here we were witness to the frankly alien phenomenon of the Dunph, the Wobbler King, suddenly appearing as the Reasonable Man, while one of his fellow pundits threw all his toys out of the pram.

And the difference of opinion also produced the unprecedented sight of Graeme Souness — a man who once almost sparked a civil war by planting a flag on the centre-circle in an Istanbul derby — being newly cast in the role of calming, measured, soft-talking peacemaker.

One can’t help wondering if Liam Brady would have objected quite so strenuously to a compilation of Rafael Benitez’ greatest fits. And it’s not just an academic point. My RTÉ mole assures me that the programme had just such a package in the works and, with seven minutes to go in the game and Arsenal leading on away goals, it’s at least plausible to speculate that a VT operator was on the verge of popping the disc marked ‘Rafa’s rage’ into the machine.

So Souness was right to point out that Wenger’s frustration was eminently understandable. After all, the Arsenal manager had just seen his side come back from behind at Fortress Anfield with a truly sensational goal to put them within touching distance of Champions’ League semi-final — and then, one minute and one dubious refereeing decision later, their European dream and most likely even their whole season was in smithereens.

But that was the close-up view from the touchline. Ensconced in a studio in Dublin as a nominally neutral observer, Brady should have demonstrated a bit more cool or at least the tactical awareness to recognise that, sitting alongside The Dunph, of all people, he might as well have been wearing a big red button on his head marked ‘Press Me’. And while one can understand the man’s loyalty to his club, and even argue the case that Arsenal didn’t get their just desserts over the two legs, his thin-skinned and self-righteous over-reaction to the mild lampooning of his current boss hardly augurs well for relations with the dreaded meeja when the Trapattoni era gets properly underway.

Still, as Dunphy took much relish in reminding him, this is television, baby. And, frankly, sooner this kind of superior handbags any day over the dull-as-dishwater stuff which passes for match analysis across the water.

So, never mind who will get to the Champions’ League final. The really big question for May 21 must be: Moscow or Montrose?

Meantime, and still on the subject of football on the box, RTÉ also deserves praise for the excellent job it’s doing on the domestic game in ‘MNS’, the live, hour-long Monday night footie show. As well as all the goals from all the games, recent highlights have included the superb Jimmy Magee-presented package recalling that historic All-Ireland XI v Brazil game of 1973.

In the interests of transparency, I should declare an interest here: I have already appeared on the programme’s panel this season and, as part of a squad rotation system, am due for another call-up sometime soon.

However, I fear there will have to be some tough talking done between now and then. For those who missed it, I was the victim of a visual ambush on my debut appearance, with the dastardly programme makers taking great glee in showing an ancient clip of a youthful LM from the days of ‘TV Ga Ga’ (don’t ask) complete with — as host Con Murphy helpfully pointed out — shoulder pads and mullet.

Needless to say, had I known this diabolical stuff was in the can, I wouldn’t have done the show, Bill.

Yours, with a Chippy on his shoulder, another Liam done wrong.