Andorran ‘pub team’ serve no footballing purpose

NO, I’m not going to ramble on about how abysmal England were in Tel Aviv and Barcelona nor that Steve McClaren is unfit for his job and has become ‘dead man walking’ — though both are indeed true.

Instead, I’d like to make a case for UEFA to throw Andorra out of European football.

In all the rumpus last Wednesday night, England’s awful performance, England fans turning on their ‘own’, the painful inadequacies of the opposition, in every aspect, were largely ignored and I think attention should be drawn to them.

It isn’t only that Andorra are nothing better than a pub team. Actually I’m sure there are many better pub teams. It’s that they represent absolutely nothing that can be deemed ‘positive’ in the game.

Of course, I expected them to be wholly defensive. If they’ve only ever won a single competitive game in their history, what else can we expect? The problem was I just knew that, even when England eventually scored, their ‘tactics’ would remain precisely the same. They even brought on another ‘defender’ in the 90th minute!

They wanted to start a fight at every possible opportunity. Antoni Lima behaved like a nightclub bouncer spoiling for some action in an alleyway. He’s a disgrace.

And everywhere players were throwing themselves down as if they’d been shot, diving in the most theatrical way possible.

The Andorran FA’s ‘organisation’ of the game was pathetic and, because of the unchallenged and aggressive behaviour of many England fans, it felt quite dangerous being in that stadium on Wednesday.

England players uninvolved in the game were told to go to the dressing room for their own safety. Micah Richards, injured in the second half, was left lying on a stretcher presumably because no one knew what to do next.

The point I’m making is that there is no ‘point’ to Andorran football. None whatsoever. They’ll never learn. They’ll never improve. The UEFA observer can’t have missed what everyone saw. Andorra should be put out of its misery.