Orange crushed

OH dear.

With all the defections from his squad, this was never going to be the dress rehearsal for Germany that Steve Staunton had originally been hoping for. But even in his worst nightmares, he could hardly have imagined that last night’s friendly against Holland would turn into something of a horror show — the only hope now is that this 0-4 thrashing is not a prequel for even worse to come.

Hard to know where to begin sifting through the debris of this one, except to say that the majority of the 42,000 who left Lansdowne Road in a state of angry disbelief would be only too anxious to sign a big ‘Get well soon’ card to Damien Duff, Robbie Keane, Richard Dunne and Shay Given. Considering that Staunton’s team had been gutted by the withdrawal of at least four players who would otherwise be certain starters, and one other, Ian Harte, who would be staking a serious claim at left-full, the Irish manager nevertheless managed to put out what looked like a reasonably experienced side.

As expected, Stephen Carr returned to reclaim his old right-back place, with Liverpool’s Steve Finnan moving across the pitch to take up position in the left-back berth. Ahead of him was the multi-capped Kevin Kilbane, with Celtic’s Aiden McGeady starting on the right.

The spine of the team also had a decent amount of big match experience, with John O’ Shea and Andy O’Brien at the back, new captain Steven Reid partnered by Graham Kavanagh in the heart of the midfield, and Sunderland’s Stephen Elliott — one of the few bright lights of the World Cup campaign — joining Clinton Morrison upfront, meaning that there was no starting place for one of the Premiership’s latest arrivals, Reading’s Kevin Doyle.

Mind you, those left sitting on the bench were about as influential in the first half as the 11 green shirts on the field of play. For 45 minutes the hapless Irish were given a lesson in pace, possession and passing, as Holland simply took them apart. It was easy to sit back and admire the well-oiled Orange machine; the only problem was that the Irish team were doing the same thing.

Even more unforgivable was that the home side seemed intent on lending Dutch dominance a helping hand. The warning signs were there as early as the 12th minute when a short-free kick routine caught the Irish defence entirely unawares, although they were let off the hook when Arjen Robben could only find the side-netting. Six minutes later, there was another let-off when a routine long corner found Joris Mathijsen unmarked at the far post, with only an acrobatic block by Andy O’ Brien protecting the Irish net. And still the home side failed to learn the lesson.

In the 25th minute, another deep Robin Van Persie corner found Klass Jan Huntelaar in an identical position and, this time, the rising star of Dutch football took full advantage of Irish generosity, heading the ball low to the corner of Paddy Kenny’s net. And there was worse to come.

Four minutes from the break, Stephen Elliott’s misdirected back pass wound up at the feet of Robben, who finished with an angled drive to put the Dutch two up. It’s one thing to be thoroughly outplayed, quite another to contribute your own share of self-inflicted wounds. Little wonder then that the half-time whistle was greeted wit a loud chorus of boos.

Steve Staunton might always have intended to change things at the break but surgery rather than a band-aid was needed now. Stephen Carr’s international comeback ended early, as did Steven Reid’s first game as captain — neither had grounds for complaint. Graham Kavanagh and Clinton Morrison also made way, as youth got its chance.

And at least the new boys managed to give the disenchanted something to cheer about. Talk of Alan O’ Brien’s pace — variously described in the Irish camp this week as “blistering”, “frightening” and even “ridiculous” — proved no exaggeration as he brought Lansdowne to its feet with one scintillating run half the length of the pitch. Kevin Doyle also looked lively, as did Liam Miller and Jonathan Dougals, while Aiden McGeady came in on the right flank.

And it was from one of the Celtic man’s precision crosses that the Irish finally gave the Dutch something to think about, Andy O’ Brien’s goal-bound header extracting a save at his top corner from Edwin Van Der Sar.

But the increased Irish threat, while lifting the spirit, was intermittent and clinically countered at the other end, where two more goals on the break from the lethal Jan Huntelaar and Robin Van Persie gave the Dutch a whopping 4-0 advantage by close of play.

And, in truth, but for a combination of wayward shooting, last ditch defending and the rub of the upright, they probably could and should have had more. As it was, last night’s result was the worst home defeat since West Germany ran up the same score in Dublin in 1966, and it was just one short of Ireland’s worst-ever home defeat, a 0-5 walloping by Spain at Dalymount Park in 1931.

But, of course, that’s ancient history and now we must look to the future.

Not that the Lansdowne faithful seemed thus inclined, the renewed boos still dying away as the PA announcer was bravely reminding patrons that the first European Championship qualifier against Germany in Stuttgart is only a couple of weeks away. To the absent stars from last night goes out the heartfelt plea — your country needs you. And urgently.