Forget siesta at San Seb fiesta

THE pattern is familiar by this stage. Munster qualify for the knock-out stages of the Heineken Cup and are handed an away draw.

Travel agents rub their hands with glee, fans trudge towards the credit union and the team and management apologise because their supporters must dig deep once again.

Yet, this costly annual odyssey has provided Munster’s Heineken Cup story with its mythological quality and is why the trophy is continually referred to as the holy grail when linked with the province.

This year, the destination is San Sebastián in Spain and, after being here as part of a media trip for a couple of days now, this could be the most memorable jaunt yet.

San Seb rocks.

Our guide, Christina, a veteran of these PR exercises after 28 years with the San Sebastián Film Festival (apparently Robert De Niro is sound, Julia Roberts painful) had a heavy head cold when she met us. This led to the delightfully Manuel from Fawlty Towers-like opening statement of, “I am happy to welcome the Irish media to San Sebastián, my nose is pouring like a waterfall”.

But, in spite of her runny nose struggles, she was the consummate host. Being a guest of the Basque Tourist Board means you receive a superb wining and dining experience. The downside is that your itinerary is extremely comprehensive and includes trips to churches, museums and aquariums which (I may be wrong) have little relevance for the Munster fans arriving this weekend.

That is not to disparage the cultural side to San Sebastián. This is a beautiful old city, a favourite of the Spanish Royal family, which boasts some wonderful architecture, gardens and galleries.

Plus, if you happen to be saddled with your missus this weekend, you should enjoy a brownie-point bonanza. For, as well as being a gastronomical delight - it has more Michelin stars per square metre than any other city in the world - the place is awash with boutiques, perfumeries and shoe shops. Consequently, the locals are extremely stylish, even though some women insisted on ruining otherwise lovely outfits by opting for the line-dancing look and rolling up their jeans to mid-calf level.

Being so close to the border, there is also a strong French connection and, if you like your lattés, there are countless charming cafés where you can get any type of coffee for less than €2.

As it’s Francophilic, you can smoke your lungs off here, indeed, it seems rude not to, such is the popularity of tobacco. The only disappointment so far has been the weather. The temperature hasn’t climbed above 14 degrees, which is a tragedy because the beaches are close to the city centre and incredibly inviting. Pack your speedos on the off-chance but they are likely to remain in the suitcase.

Christina was a sound old skin and it was with a tinge of regret that I opted out of the cultural tour for a spot of ‘hovelling’ - checking out the best eateries and drinkeries for the weekend.

In Lille four years ago, the pubs ran out of glasses and beleaguered bar men lost ‘le rag’ as they tried to cater for 30 Munster men standing six-deep at the counter. There is no danger of that happening in San Sebastián. There are bars and restaurants everywhere (see website below) and drink is ridiculously cheap.

The first hostelry I chanced into, Bar Arrauna, was tucked down a side alley of the main plaza and turned out to be bikers’ haunt. Spanish heavy metal music seems quite similar to the stuff at home except for the fact that, in true Spanish style, they sing a lot faster. In truth, though the hirsute locals were friendly, Bar Arrauna was a little on the Beirut side of dodgy. ETA slogans adorned the toilet walls and though the bar man had never heard of Munster (or Rory Gallagher) he brought up Bobby Sands as soon as he knew he was talking to an Irish man.

The next stop was Bar Lizika, down another alley. I am not certain what ‘Lizika’ translates as, but I’d hazard a guess given its sole patrons were a group of 12 short-haired women kissing and hugging on the dance floor.

In fact, Tuesday night could well be a theme night in San Seb because the nightclub, DiscoBolo, was similarly single-sexed. This time it was a large party of Bulgarian blokes, who all wore loose shirts open to the waist and sported man-bags.

Nobody had a clue about the forthcoming rugby match. Football is king here, and they all spoke glowingly of Roy Keane and, indeed, John Aldridge, who is something of a cult figure from his time with Real Sociedad. However, Christina has promised to take us to the city’s Irish bars tonight, where you’d expect a greater level of knowledge about Sunday’s game.

She is also taking us on a ‘tapas crawl’. I know nothing about tapas culture, but it seems to be some sort of Spanish ruse for keeping people in pubs. Yes, it’s all olé, olé, olé and even though the team are up against it this weekend, it has all the makings of a truly memorable entry in Munster’s European diary.

So, get your asses over, or as they say in Spanish, ‘Ven aqui’.

* San Sebastián details at www.sansebastianturismo.com