Spirited XV are best of the rest

IT’S the silly season. Eddie and the lads are in Lanzarote, the AIL is on its festive break and everyone is taking the opportunity to do their reviews of the year.

But rather than go down that well-trodden road we thought we'd select our 'alternative' rugby XV.

The 'alternative' XV

1. Loosehead prop:

Dustin the Turkey the puppet has all the characteristics of your typical prop forward.

Base sense of humour, fond of the birds and he is not fazed by the second row putting a hand in his nether regions.

2. Hooker:

George W Bush specialises in the 'early strike' in the scrum, and his missiles generally hit their

target in the lineout...generally.

3. Tight-head prop:

Ian Duncan-Smith does an enormous amount of unseen work, especially as a lifter, where he is an expert at keeping others aloft in a position of authority.

4. Second row:

Ian Paisley (captain) this rugged veteran is the captain and rock of the side completely immovable.

5. Second-row:

Michael O'Leary the 'Lord of the Clouds', a guaranteed winner in the air.

6. Blindside flanker:

Liam Lawlor a great man for blocking the channels, and if the opposition do manage to get past him, he makes them pay.

7. Openside flanker:

Frank Murphy an expert at killing opposition ball.

Can always be found in the middle of rucks and mauls, lives on the offside line but never gets caught.

8. Number eight:

Jordan the model forward, packs a load of power up front and likes nothing better than putting her head down and doing the hard yards.

9. Scrumhalf:

Charlie McCreevy a smooth operator with decent possession but starts to whine when he gets bad ball.

10. Outhalf:

Louis Walsh the master tactician.

Knows just how to exploit a great opportunity and bale out when things go wrong.

11. Left wing:

Halley's Comet a fiery character who has had a meteoric rise to the top.

Goes unnoticed for much of the match but then makes one devastating break.

12. First centre:

Eddie Irvine a scoring machine, will tackle anything that moves and breathes.

13. Second centre:

Dessie O'Hare they seek him here they seek him there.

Cunning as a fox, the elusive O'Hare makes the most of his fingertip control and possesses a devastating outside break.

14. Right wing:

Eamon Dunphy controversial figure but there's no one better at shooting up the line.

15. Fullback:

CJ Haughey tough and durable, the team's last line of

defence possesses an amazing ability to see off any attack.

Always at the centre of affairs.

The Mercy Hospital's Children's Leukaemia fund are having their annual Christmas soccer match between the old Swan & Cygnet bar and The Outpost bar at the Mardyke on Friday December 27 at 2.30pm.

Organised by former Highfield outhalf Larry O'Neill, this event has been running for 30 years and fully deserves our support.

Participating celebrities include Dinny Allen, Jackie Morley, Billy Morgan and the saviour of Europe, Wing Commander Billy Neiland.

A great night to follow in the Outpost.