CHELTENHAM: Brand had bigger choice than Ruby

THE Diary is used to screaming girls as he walks through the streets (ahem), but even this correspondent knew something was up as a posse of women shrieked uncontrollably as he walked past the Arkle bar.

There was no flesh on show, not in this weather. It seemed strange, but soon it all began to make sense.

For out of the crowd came a shadowy figure with long-curly hair, complete with dashing beard, top hat and black overcoat.